Obnoxious Hooded Youths

Matt wrote a blog about 'Shite Music' a.k.a 'Chav Music' and Juliet wrote one about 'Year Sevens' a.k.a 'The Year Seven Chavs'. So I thought i'd complete the set and write about 'Obnoxious Hooded Youths' a.k.a 'Chavs' so Here we go....

I thought I'd begin with the always accurate Wikipedia's 'definition' of a Chav;
Chav, Chava or Charva is a derogatory term applied to certain young people in Great Britain. The stereotypical view of a chav is a white agressive teen or young adult, of working class background, who wears branded sports and casual clothing (baseball caps are also common). Often fights and engages in petty criminality and are often assumed to be unemployed or in a low paid job.

I think that probably sums the group up pretty well. I could just end this blog there, but since the more evidence that is put forward, the sooner biologists will finaly declare chavs as a seperate species to humans, i think i shall continue. So I'm going to write about some of my own experiences with these things.

The first thing you need to know is that within the Chav species. Actualy i'm going to rewrite that i don't think that there name warrants a capital letter. The first thing you need to know is that within the chav species there are two variations - you have the chavs who think their 'ard and the chavs that are actualy 'bare hard'. The chavs who think their hard are harmless and you can have fun taking the piss of them, the other group? - best avoid them unless you have a death wish. Therefore I will focus on the first group.

The thing that amuses me about these individuals (actually they can't really be refered to as individuals - same hair cut (shaved), same voice, same attitude and same bag - yes they do all have the exact same Nike bag) but anyway, there stupidity means that you can offend them without them even realising or understanding what your saying. As long as you say something above the level of 'your mum' or 'wanker' or 'dick'ed' you might aswell be speaking a different language to them.

The second funny thing about them is that they think they are so 'hard' when they just aren't and never will be. They'll 'give it large' but when it comes to it they'll leave it to there mates to finish (who are of course equally pathetic and do nothing), merely walk off with a final 'wanker' under their breath or if they're feeling extra brave they may even push each other into you!! Oh how much that hurt me - i think not.

Finaly i find it immensely entertaining is the fact that whenever they run out of slightly original insults (which is generaly very fast) they will always resort back to 'emo' or 'grunger' or the like. How do you respond to this? Do you waste your own intelligence on thinking of a witty insult which they will not understand and almost definitely once again respond with 'go slit your wrists you emo'? I have done so many times and got to the point of giving up. So i decided to respond to a familiar call of 'emo' from a chav simply by calling back 'chav' and i was very suprised at the answer i got;
'ohhh my god! did you just call me and my cousin chavs?!'
'ermm yeah... did you just call me an emo?'
'ohhhh myy god! i can't believe you said that to us, you're more of a chav than us your just emo, grunger, chav, fakes.'

(Remembering that conversation also made me realise another thing about chavs, they begin every sentence with and 'oh my god' normaly making the words of it longer each sentence...)

But anyway, am i alone in thinking that calling the same person a grunger and a chav, makes absolutely no sense? Maybe this is an insight into how a chav's brain works, yet more proof that they are a seperate species.

It really is only a matter of time untill these obnoxious hooded youths are classified as a seperate species.